Untitled

About a month and a half ago I was in a rut. I was constantly feeling down and I couldnt figure out what was making me feel this way. I took a few days to reanalyze my life and tried to pinpoint the source of my problem and i finally figured it out. I wasnt living a balanced lifestyle. My life consisted of working on the weekdays, partying on the weekends, eating very unhealthy, and exercising once in a long while : / I decided I was gonna make some big changes. I started working out consistently and eating healthier. (When you look good you feel good, and when you feel good it rubs off on every other aspect of your life). I limited the partying to once every other week (which also meant less drinking). I spent less time focusing on girls. I would go out and hook up with these girls and although it would feel good at the moment, i would be left feeling shittier than ever afterwards. So instead of focusing on girls, ive spent more time just reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. I also joined a basketball league. Im going to new places, trying out new things with new people and realizing that life has so much more to offer than just girls, booze, and bars. Every little thing ive changed and have added to my life has made me so much happier. I havent felt this good in a very long time :)

Last night I played in my first organized basketball game since 2005. I woke up yesterday with game day jitters just like back in high school. All day i was anxious. Ive been wanting to play in a league for years now but due to my work schedule, things somehow never worked out. Suprisingly i did fairly well, I made a couple key plays on offense and defense and our team won by about twenty. I was super tired though but it was so much fun running up and down that court. It brought back a lot of great memories from a really special time in my life. Cant wait for our next game

3ridan:

do you ever look around at the big crowds of people around you and realize everyone has a story and memories and family and troubles and achievements and a first kiss and a broken heart but you’ll never know any of it and every human life is really intricate and expansive but oh they’ve walked into a shop and you’ll never see them again and you’ll never know just what they were thinking 

(via baileysays)

As the days go by and the memories of you slowly fade away, I spent the day thinking about the good and bad of relationships. It takes so much to build a great relationship and sometimes it takes just one or two things to ruin it all. Its a constant work in progress that requires so much time and effort. In less than a year, this complete stranger knew things about me not even my closest friends know. Like how I put gel in my hair when i dont even have long enough hair for it to make a difference, or how I say “ummmm” for about 5 seconds before I order something even though I already know what i want. You spend so much time with each other and even plan a future together. Then when things go bad and you’ve decided to go your separate ways, all that time and effort you put into the relationship means absolutely nothing. This person who was once a top priority is no longer even a part of your life anymore. Sometimes I think about whether or not it was worth it. Was it worth putting myself through all this pain and heartache for love? hmmm i think so. Although things didnt work out, i can honestly say that it was a great learning experience. It made me realize what i truly want in a relationship and that I wont settle for anything less. It made me put up my guard a bit, but i guess thats not necessarily a bad thing. It motivated me to do better in life. She was able to make me feel something id never felt before. Being in love is an amazing feeling, definately one of lifes greatest highs. So all in all i believe it was worth it. Although im nowhere near ready to put myself out there again anytime soon, I hope to experience that high again…one day